Trailer Trash?

I have a confession to make.... And my husband is livid about it, but here goes... I am embarrassed to admit that we live in a trailer. I hadn’t really thought of just how embarrassed until a friend from high school emailed me and told me they would be in the area and wanted to meet for dinner. I have to say I feel I can’t have them over because I live in a trailer.

For those of you who are American, am I alone here? I swear I have tried to say I don’t feel this way, I have tried to look at it like a stage in our life and I have nothing to be embarrassed about… But I am. Allah forgive me, I am. I know this is really materialistic and such, but to be honest I would feel better if we were renting an apartment. Just goes to show that the whole streotype about trailers is engrained in my head. To be honest we have a nice house, masha'Allah. Wood floors, 2000 square feet, fenced yard.... I don't know what my damage is.

Ugh, I feel ill.

My son's ear surgery today

My son had his ear surgery today, and Alhamdulilah things went smoothly. It does look like we will be back in six months for another surgery though; they found out that the problem was a little more complicated than they thought.

They ended up removing the bone that is closest to the inner ear and patching the inner ear with a tissue graft from the little bump at the center of the ear. Now, that patch has to take (which will take about six months) and they will put in prosthetic bones to replace the bones of the ear and insha’Allah restore the hearing to normal.

Right now I am just focusing on making dua that this part of the recovery goes well, we will deal with the hearing later, insha’Allah. Please keep us in your dua, it looks like the case is a little more complicated than we thought... But we are on the road to fixing the problem, insha’Allah.

They took some pictures of the inner ear and I will try to post some of them, it is interesting to see how these things work. Subhan’Allah, the whole thing is such a delicate balance and such an interesting system. Alhamdulilah for the fact that we found this when we did. I hate to think of all the things that could have gone wrong with his case. The DR said that adults with similar injuries are dizzy all the time until the repair is made. Subhan’Allah, kids are VERY adaptable and capable of overcoming these things. It is a mercy from Allah, SWT.

What's Going On....

I haven’t posted in the past few days so here goes…

My children are hyper and wild since it is summer time and they are feeling like sitting at the store with me is a jail sentence of sorts… And I agree. But, alhamdulilah, my husband has agreed to pay an employee for the store from his business account so I can have some time off without feeling like I am wasting money from my business! YEAH! But, if you must know this benefits him too since I can stay home on days he is sick/extremely busy with his paperwork and needs my help.

In other news I have successfully killed two vacuum cleaners in the past month… How? Wouldn’t I love to know.

My daughter is doing well with her reading lessons, masha’Allah. If things continue along these lines she will be reading by summers end, insha’Allah.

And finally, I made some very good fattah for dinner last night… And anyone who knows Egyptian men knows that that tilted the scale in my favor big time. I didn’t even hear about the house being a mess for the entire evening.LOL;)

My DS's ear surgery

My middle son has some hearing trouble that we are finally scheduled to have corrected, insha'Allah. I will be taking him to Denver on the 22nd to get the pre-op exam done and then the surgery will be on the 23rd. As much as I hate the idea of surgery... I am getting excited about the possibility of restoring his hearing. There are some habits that he has which I think are related to not hearing well, and I am hoping for some improvement with them. And the great part is that if we don't fix it with this surgery at least we will know that the inner ear is fine and we will proceed with a hearing aide. Anyway, please remember him in your duas.

The blog and the Muslim mind

I have been an internet junkie since about 1990… And I was online when e-mail came through tel-net, and I was just using a dial-up to get to my university’s server. So, naturally I used the internet to research Islam and meet Muslims when I was considering conversion.

I have often wondered if I would have ever learned all I did, if I ever would have converted for that matter if it weren’t for my internet addiction (yes friends, addiction because I will ask you to use your computer to check my mail if I am at your house).

Now, I think that I may not be alone in this, and it brings rise to a question that I have: Does the internet have a role in modern Islam, and if it does what is it?

My answer is simple. I say undoubtedly, YES. With gusto, YES. What is that role, now that is a more complicated question. I think the internet has two major roles, education and community. Of course I might be biased since those are the two things I get from the internet… But bear with me because I still think it is true.

In this world we are all connected now, and we all have the opportunity to learn from the internet as long as we are critical readers. I know there are those out there who hate to see “wrong” information proliferated by the internet… But I look at it differently. I look at it as an opportunity to open your mind, to explore all the facets of a subject and solidify your opinion. In the end the truth will win out. There is no need to fret over sites that are flat out wrong or misleading, as long as we are all up to the responsibility of weeding out the information we take in.

In a broader sense I think this critical look at the religion will help us, strengthen us. There are many of us out there not ready to follow something simply because it is tradition, or the way things have always been done. If you are secure in your ideas, hold them up to our scrutiny and I promise you if they pass the test we will listen to them.

The community provided by the internet is important to people like me in remote areas where there simply are not many Muslims. I stay connected to the ummah through the friendships I form on-line, and I consider them to be as sincere and important as the friendships I have in the real world. I think even if you never make friends online you will find a certain comfort in reading a blog that reminds you of your outlook on life, a groups that touches on the issues that are important to you. There are days I don’t talk about Islam except with people on the internet. And that talk keeps things going for me when I feel that I am the Lone Ranger here in the Midwest.

So, I just hope that we all keep e-mailing, blogging, building sites… I think that it is a big part of our lives in this society where we are all so spread out. And who knows when you are typing that blog entry who might be reading it!

A story that I really love...

I am not an angry God person, never have been. I figure everything happens for some unexplainable reason. The tale of the khider is one of my favorites. It goes as follows; please forgive me if I am wrong in the details, because I am doing this from memory.

Moses asks the khider (a man whose will and actions are intimately connected with Allah’s will) to travel with him and is told yes; under the condition that he will not question the khider’s actions. The journey starts and the first thing they encounter is a young boy. The khider kills him. Moses struggles to understand, and they come to the next place where the khider stops in a village full of people who are rude and unwelcoming to re-build a stone wall on the edge of the village. Moses of course questions why the khider would rebuild the wall for the people of a town who had shown them no hospitality or kindness whatsoever. So, now Moses is obviously finding it hard to keep from questioning, but he has to keep the agreement to continue to travel with the khider. Next the khider and Moses stop at a dock and talk to some poor fishermen. When the men leave the khider sinks the boat. Moses is really taken aback by this and has to ask about why. So the khider proceeds to tell him from the beginning the reasons for his actions. The khider tells Moses the boy’s parents were righteous people, and if he had grown he would have caused them much pain and tested their faith. He rebuilt the wall to protect the treasure of orphans from the greedy people of the town who would surly take it if they found it in the wall. And, finally he sank the boats of the poor fishermen because that day the king's army would come and collect all the boats in that village but would leave this one because it was damaged, but the fishermen would repair it easily. So, the khider leaves to continue his journeys without Moses.

So, what do I take from the tale of the khider?

Well, it tells me that not all things we think of as right or fair are in God’s plan. There is a reason for even the things that seem horrible and wrong. I don’t think it lessons or grief about bad things that happen to us, but it certainly gives us the assurance that everything happens for a reason. And, even Moses was unable to understand the good behind the things the khider did… So I would guess that probably means we are going to have a hard time seeing them too! So, the next time you are screaming "why"… Think of the khider.

Raising Equality

There is a really great post on Ethnically Incorrect about how Muslims are raising their girls vs. how we are raising our boys. Deer and Wolves. Check it out, well worth the read.

For me this is an important issue. I think we are giving our boys especially the wrong message. We are letting the girls shoulder the responsibility of sexuality as teenagers (as in they are the ones who are obligated to avoid pre-marital sex) and then later letting them be the keepers of marriage by giving them the responsibility of pleasing their husbands.

How about instead of teaching our boys to be tough and our girls to be nice, we teach all our children to be pious, thoughtful, honest, loving and responsible individuals. The rest will take care of itself. Trust me if you give your children the love for the deen, and teach them to be caring they will be fine in their lives and their marriages.

Besides, if I remember my Islamic history correctly Khadijah had her own business and the Prophet (sws) was reported to have been helpful with household chores. So where did we start with all this other stuff anyway? It has to be culture, because we are all equal in the eyes of Allah (swt).

You can't handle the truth!

Since I wrote about today being my court date I have to write about what happened,

Small claims court is weird if you have never been. It’s basically, like my husband says, “10 minutes of court to keep people from shooting each other over civil disputes without tying up the legal system.” You see in Egypt you would be in court about 3 years over something like this!LOL

Basically the judge warned the renters that they couldn’t prove any of the claims they were making, or it would be very unlikely anyway and asked them if they want to dismiss it before we even start. Of course they said no.

The short version is basically that we would have had them pay everything, and the judge even said he thought we made our case… But, in Wyoming there is a law that says you must give a written notice within 30 days of the tenants vacating (which passed over the weekend) of all charges to be deducted from the deposit. Which means we have to give them thier deposit back.

I got such a notice together and was unable to get them to give me an address to mail it to. The bad thing is since I never managed to do it so as a result we can't deduct cleaning and replacement charges from the damage deposit. The good part is that the judge thought we were in the right and said if there was any leniency in the law about this notice he would’ve ruled in our favor… But in light of that law we have to give notice to have the legal right to deduct these charges from the deposit.

What can we learn from this??? Well I think we will be getting that business attorney my husband has been gripping about for so long. If we had known the importance of that notice we would have found a way to get it to them even if it meant posting it in the newspaper or something. And, I think that this small claims thing is pretty fair for the most part… And I have to admit that I did derive some evil pleasure for seeming the smirk on the judge’s face when he read the pain and suffering part of the claim.

So, I am out $150 more than I wanted to pay them, but that’s OK. They didn’t get all the other crazy judgments they were seeking. Now I know that everything goes to the tenants in writing from now on.

Oh, yeah... And, Alhamdulilah, no one thought we were there to blow up the building or anything.

Super Freak

Well, the courts date with my old tenants is tomorrow morning. Please make dua for us. I think it’s pretty simple and really obvious that they took our stuff… But you never know.

The thing that I fail to understand is how someone who took the mower and all the watering equipment would be bold enough to take me to small claims court for the full security deposit???? Not only that she added $500 for pain and suffering and $100 because she moved out before her thirty days notice was up. What a freak. Super freak. People like that kill me. I don’t even have the confidence to tell a landlord "ufff" if they charge me $100 for cleaning or some junk.

I offered her the security deposit minus $100 to replace the mower and have the carpets cleaned (since a dog she told me she didn’t have peed all over the place). I thought I was being more than fair! Apparently she wants the mower, the sprinklers the hose and a free carpet cleaning… Not to mention her $100 bonus for moving out early, which is clearly just pulled out of her you know what because there is no such stipulation in the contract.

So, now I am relying on the small claims court to see that this person is a whacko. Which should be pretty obvious considering that she is asking for $500 pain and suffering because I didn’t do things to her liking. But, this is American justice we are talking about here folks... So you never know. Besides... I am thinking that the judge might be too distracted by the scarf and my big husband's big beard... You never know I may be bloggin from a cell tomorrow afternoon. So if you read about a mother of three and her Egyptian husband being held for questioning in Laramie, you'll know what's up.

Quiz I saw on Sister Scorpian's blog

The Prioress

You scored 10% Cardinal, 58% Monk, 55% Lady, and 37% Knight!


You are a moral person and are also highly intellectual. You like your solitude but are also kind and helpful to those around you. Guided by a belief in the goodness of mankind you will likely be christened a saint after your life is over.




The Who Would You Be in 1400 AD Test written by KnightlyKnave on Ok Cupid

The mystery of my husband

Can someone please tell me why some men think that barraging you with insults and proofs of your mistakes they will inspire you to work harder at the things they want you to do? Truly a misguided attempt at communication gentlemen. Try discussing, try explaining, try anything but this. Even if you are right in all the things you say the TONE will defeat you. There, I feel better now.

"Do not remove a fly from your friend's forehead with a hatchet" Confucius

Cool story sent out by my midwifery course director

THE DAFFODIL PRINCIPLE

Several times my daughter had telephoned to say, "Mother, you must come see the daffodils before they are over." I wanted to go, but it was a two-hour drive from Laguna to Lake Arrowhead. "I will come next Tuesday," I promised, a little reluctantly, on her third call.

Next Tuesday dawned cold and rainy. Still, I had promised, and so I drove there. When I finally walked into Carolyn's house and hugged and greeted my grandchildren, I said, "Forget the daffodils, Carolyn! The road is invisible in the clouds and fog, and there is nothing in the world except you and these children that I want to see bad enough to drive another inch!"

My daughter smiled calmly and said, "We drive in this all the time, Mother." "Well, you won't get me back on the road until it clears, and then I'm heading for home!" I assured her.

"I was hoping you'd take me over to the garage to pick up my car." "How far will we have to drive?" "Just a few blocks," Carolyn said. "I'll drive.  I'm used to this." After several minutes, I had to ask, "Where are we going?  This isn't the way to the garage!"

"We're going to my garage the long way," Carolyn smiled, "by way of the daffodils."
"Carolyn," I said sternly, "please turn around." "It's all right, Mother, I promise. You will never forgive yourself if you miss this experience."

After about twenty minutes, we turned onto a small gravel road and I saw a small church. On the far side of the church, I saw a hand-lettered sign that read, "Daffodil Garden."

We got out of the car and each took a child's hand, and I followed Carolyn down the path. Then, we turned a corner of the path, and I looked up and gasped.  Before me lay the most glorious sight. It looked as though someone had taken a great vat of gold and poured it down over the mountain peak and slopes. The flowers were planted in majestic, swirling patterns-great ribbons and swaths of deep orange, white, lemon yellow, salmon pink, saffron, and butter yellow.  Each different-colored variety was planted as a group so that it swirled and flowed like its own river with its own unique hue. There were five acres of flowers.

"But who has done this?" I asked Carolyn. "It's just one woman," Carolyn answered. "She lives on the property. That's her home." Carolyn pointed to a well kept A-frame house that looked small and modest in the midst of all that glory. We walked up to the house.

On the patio, we saw a poster. "Answers to the Questions I Know You Are Asking" was the headline.  The first answer was a simple one. "50,000 bulbs," it read. The second answer was, "One at a time, by one woman. Two hands, two feet, and very little brain." The third answer was, "Began in 1958."

There it was, The Daffodil Principle. For me, that moment was a life-changing experience. I thought of this woman whom I had never met, who, more than forty years before, had begun-one bulb at a time-to bring her vision of beauty and joy to an obscure mountain top. Still, just planting one bulb at a time, year after year, had changed the world. This
unknown woman had forever changed the world in which she lived. She had created something of ineffable (indescribable) magnificence, beauty, and inspiration.

The principle her daffodil garden taught is one of the greatest principles of celebration. That is, learning to move toward our goals and desires one step at a time-often just one baby-step at a time-and learning to love the doing, learning to use the accumulation of time. When we multiply tiny pieces of time with small increments of daily effort, we too will find we can accomplish magnificent things. We can change the world.

"It makes me sad in a way," I admitted to Carolyn. "What might I have accomplished if I had thought of a wonderful goal thirty-five or forty years ago and had worked away at it 'one bulb at a time' through all those years. Just think what I might have been able to achieve!"

My daughter summed up the message of the day in her usual direct way. "Start tomorrow," she said.

It's so pointless to think of the lost hours of yesterdays. The way to make learning a lesson of celebration instead of a cause for regret is to only ask, "How can I put this to use today?"

Author Unknown

10 things Every pregnant woman should do...

OK, I have been thinking to do this for quite some time… I just wanted to share my list of the 10 things I think pregnant women need to do, as a midwifery student and as a three time mom.

10 things EVERY pregnant woman should do

1. Thank Allah (swt) even if you weren’t planning this baby. Remember all the women out there trying to conceive.
2. Start thinking about what you eat, the medications you take. Get a nutrition book if you need to! Eating Expectantly is good.
3. Read Henci Goer’s book, The Thinking Woman’s Guide To A Better Birth.
4. Read Ina May Gaskins’s Guide To Childbirth or Rahima Baldwin’s Special Delivery.
5. Don’t listen to horror stories about birth. Think positive and try to face your fears about childbirth with your friend/midwife/doula.
6. Watch a good video of a natural birth (not Maternity Ward or Special Delivery on TLC or Discovery Health channel!!!!).Birth Day is a good choice.
7. REALLY consider your birth attendant choice and how it will impact your delivery.
8. Read The Womanly Art Of Breastfeeding and attend a La Leche League Meeting.
9. Stay active, and if you plan to use different positions during your birth practice them so they are comfortable. I recommend squatting daily for short stretches. We don’t squat much, but since it is an ideal birth position you may want to get used to it.
10. Enjoy your pregnancy! Take photos, do a belly cast, keep a journal… Make a way to remember it.

Finally got to see the specialist

So, I mentioned before that my middle child (3 1/2) has hearing loss in his right ear... Basically the ear bones conduct no sound so he is only hearing through the skull on that ear. Sounds crazy, but he hears only loud things and they probably sound a little different than in his normal ear. Sooo, after about 100 calls and complaints to the office that was supposed to refer him to this surgeon in Denver I finally took him yesterday.

All I have to say is you MUST follow you instincts with your children's health. The first person we saw in Cheyenne (after I talked to the family doc and got the first hearing test) felt that I was clearly overreacting and they wouldn't need to correct it until he was 8-10 and none of the problems with his balance or attention span were in any way related. But, upon my insisting she ordered a cat scan. They saw a soft tissue mass in the middle ear and so she did as promised and referred me to a specialist. Or so I thought. I waited and called, and waited then called and waited then called and got downright nasty with the nurse (which I felt bad about because I am sure she had nothing to do with it) and she finally gave me the number for the doc in Denver. I found out that the referral had never been made and the records never transferred after all my calls to the Cheyenne office.

So, yesterday, about SIX MONTHS after the initial consult with the ENT in Cheyenne, we saw the specialist in Denver, who scheduled us for surgery ASAP. The reason being that the two docs who saw him yesterday actually listened to me and tested his balance… Which is not good. So, now they want to be sure his inner ear is not leaking fluid or forming a fistula because that could actually further the hearing loss by causing damage to the auditory nerve. And, they agreed that they should correct it now while he is young and if they can’t fix it they want to consider a hearing aide.

They think that all of this happened when my daughter stuck a toothbrush in his ear (the narrow metal part on an electric toothbrush) when he was a little over a year old. The bones of your ear are so close to the eardrum that if you puncture the eardrum in the right place you end up moving the bones. Now, in our case there are a few possibilities one of which is that the bon closest to the inner ear got pushed into it thus causing a leak of the fluid, which can be corrected and the inner ear patched. The other possibility is that they are misaligned now, which can be corrected. The final possibility is that a genetic defect has caused the final bone to fuse to the surface of the inner ear (but it should have been detected by the newborn hearing screen if he has had this loss since birth), which they would not correct because of the risk of damaging the inner ear..

Can a Muslim mom give a halleluiah???? Well, maybe an ALHAMDULILAH!!!!

Now I hate the idea of him going into surgery, but I love the idea that modern medicine can actually address this issue and possibly return his hearing to normal. And for the kiddos out there, the lesson to this story is NEVER out anything in your ear larger than your elbow (and don’t put anything in your brother’s ear either!).

I will post more when I get to the surgery part… Please keep our son in your duas.

And for all of you homeshoolers out there, or anyone who wants to know more for that matter... Here's a cool site about the ear and how it works. What my son has is called Moderate Unilateral Conductive Hearing Loss.

Denver Zoo!

Went to the Denver Zoo with the kids yesterday... Here they are playing on a hippo sculpture there:)

Kid Training????

I couldn't make this stuff up.

Yes, for those of you who couldn't really read it it does say:
"Finally, a system that trains your kids to do their chores while you relax in your recliner!" Sit Jr sit, good kid.
"Child earns tokens redeemable for fun family interaction." And if they don't earn their tokens no interaction?
"Children using this system... Acquire valuable tools they can use the rest of their lives." Yeah, like how to train their kids to do the housework so they can sit in their recliners! Not to mention how the blatant manipulation skills will give them an edge in the business world.

Beauty in Wyoming

OK, I know I'm always hating on Wyoming... But there are some beautiful things here. This is Vedavoo. Of course like all things it has another side... The entrance to this park is where Matthew Shepard was left to die in 1998.

Midwifery course, summer and migraines

Soooo, I have jumped through all of the proverbial hoops to get to the core curriculum for my midwifery course… I am excited and yet apprehensive. I know I want to do it, and the course so far seems to fit my learning style. I guess what I am unsure of is my husband’s support once I get to the real work. He was never that helpful while I was in nursing school… And he still thinks me quitting is “failure”. He doesn’t understand why I wanted to change directions in my study.

Insha’Allah, he will be able to help with the kids and house as much as I need him to. My fear is that he will want to just pay someone else to do it. Which means I will be less likely to take study days and such since I hate leaving the kids with anyone but my husband. But if we can get the house to a manageable state I will look into having a cleaning lady one day a week.

On the up side it looks like we will be going to the 2005 La Leche League International Conference. Which is something I really want to do. Also, my husband and I have decided to wait until October to go to Egypt. Which means I can prepare for al the upcoming things at a more normal pace. Of course knowing me I will wait until the last minute on everything anyway!

Summer is coming, and we are into looking for things to do already. Swim lessons, pottery making, and children’s Museum art classes are on the agenda. Thinking of adding yoga to the day for me… But yoga and hijab don’t really work together unless I can find a women only class, not to mention that i want an instructor who is viewing it as exercise not a path to enlightenment. We will have to see what I can dig up.

I have been having so many migraines lately that I have decided something has to change. Of course I REFUSE to take a med daily as a preventative (let's see, avoid a headache or save my liver and my kidneys????). Yoga has helped in the past. Also chiropractic care has helped. I am thinking to do both. I am also trying (emphasis on trying) to modify my diet. It’s hard…. But I am working on it. The big one for me is diet soda. I can drink like 6 a day, but I am limiting myself to one right now. I hope I can post that I found the magic cure… But I am not counting on it!

Layla's Hair

So, my daughter Layla LOVES to color her hair... Well, ok since she's 5 she loves for me to color her hair. Here is our latest experiment, "cherry red". Of course they are all wash out colors!!!

Just another manic Monday...

I have been thinking about selling my store for some time, I have mentioned it before… Now I am wondering whether or not I should. I am so used to doing the whole store thing and I wonder if I would miss it. I think I will take all the new products online if I do sell, something I have been wanting to do anyway.

On other fronts we are looking for a house. We are both TIRED of the mobile home thing. But buying a house and moving is a lot of work. And I am scared about the whole idea. I would be much cooler if we could just rent our place that we are in now, but we have to sell it. That park doesn’t allow rentals. So now timing becomes an issue… We have to find a house and sell the trailer in a good timeframe or we will end up renting which means a second move.

And speaking of rentals, the last tenants in our rental are saying they are going to take me to small claims court since I am refusing to return their entire security deposit. Yala, take me to court!LOL They stole the lawnmower and had a dog in the place (which we state in our contract is a no-no)! So I just want to replace the mower and clean the carpets. They will have to get over it. But if they are going to take me to court I wish they would get on with it so I can stop worrying about it.

Otherwise things here are good. I am waiting to hear about whether or not we can go to Egypt this summer. There are a lot of variables, and I might stay here while my husband takes the older kids with him. But, this plan has its flaws… My husband is afraid to take the kids by himself since I am the primary caregiver. I keep telling him they will be fine, and they will just be excited to see his family; but he is worried that they will miss me, he won’t know what to do with them, etc. I am not saying it would be easy, but it is possible if that’s what we decide, insha’Allah. And it makes more sense then trying to rush things here with buying a house, selling the trailer and the store. Of course me having to do all those things alone is another scary thing… But insha’Allah it will be fine.

So, I am off now to balance the ledger for the store, mail some things for my midwifery course and some other random adventures on my to-do list.