Thursday, March 23, 2006

Doing Less...(rant)

I would give anything at this point to have less to do every day. I would love to be able to just stay home with no regard for the clock. I am going crazy with the things I have to do outside the house, and what is every single person in my life saying???? Maybe you should consider putting the kids back in school. Grrrrrrrrrrr.

This makes me angry on so many levels. First, it means they don't understand my priorities at all. Second it means they view my work with the kids as less important than my errands, the store, helping with DH's business and having a clean house. Third it means that they feel I am not contributing unless there is some monetary gain from what I am doing.

I had a good cry about it this morning when DH told me I should open the daycare we have been talking about and I told him I didn't want any more things to do in my life... And that the only way that would work is if I could hire out everything (which I don't think is feasible). What part of three kids and another on the way so even leaving the house at all is stressful doesn't he understand????? And yet somehow DH thinks if only I woke up earlier there would be enough time in the day to do all these things. Honey, if I woke up earlier I might have time to actually eat and maybe even consider my personal appearance... But not open another business when I am pressed to get everything I have to do with the store done.

Is there a way I can just relax a little without being berated for not contributing? I'm tired, exhausted and over-emotional. Would it be fair to tell people to lay off for awhile? Would they listen? To tell you the truth I am seriously considering a teaching job just to shut everyone up, and the insurance would be a real plus too. Maybe if the kids were all able to go to whatever school I worked at I would just do it... But with the new baby I can't even consider that. Maybe I'll just pack up the kids and go to The Farm for the rest of this pregnancy.


SUHAA said...

asalaam alaikum warahmat Allah, i can understand how frustrating that must be. when i dont feel appreciated i try to remind myself that the reward is with Allah and try to focus in on my intentions of doing what i do..we should remind each other that the foremost reason in doing anything at all should be to please Allah..surely the reward is with Him..
may Allah simplify your tasks..and accept all of them as good deeds. ameen.

camilla said...

salaam sis,
I know how frustrating it can be. I am also feeling the same right to what to do with my life and what is good for my family if I do gets all confusing and in the end, I have yet to decide on it *sigh*. I hope you take care alot sis and don't stress yourself at this point of time. Hope you feel better.

Umm Zaid said...

Salaam 'Alaikum

Don't be afraid to ask people to lay off. You know best what words to choose -- whether forceful or very polite. There needs to be some consideration for the fact that you're pg and have three kids. I don't know how to make others understand it though; I always get the "My mother had nine children" speech. The one that conveniently omits, "and her mother and sisters all lived on the same street."

SUHAA said...

and dont forget the story of Fatima (ra), the daughter of Rasullilah (as) of how stressed out she was when her husband told her to ask her father for help. she was shy and so Ali(ra) went to ask him himself. Later, Rasullilah(as) came to both of them and sat between them and told them that what is better than a servant is saying SubhanAllah 33 times, Alhamdulilah33 times and Allahu Akbar 34 times..
that those words would be the help she or anyone would need..

i wish i had remembered to do this the night before last when my 3 kids were driving me nuts..and i was bathing #4..!

may Allah reward u,and may we always be reminded to Trust in Allah for the best of Help..

Shabana said...

Ugh, sometimes men just dont get it. Underappreciation seems to be the norm for motherhood. I think we need to bill 'em for the work.