Monday, January 01, 2007

It's the end of the world as we know it...

This is a response that became a post:

Thanks sisters, I have been away from the comp and it was nice to see all your support. Yes to all of it... I have been working on a what if plan... How that will look I don't know right now. I wish I could say that DH will be able to make hajj, but with his health I don't know. Allahu Alim.

I guess the important thing is to take it one day at a time. There are things in the works that insha'Allah would allow DH to slow down in his job. I pray that they happen quickly and without too much nonsense.

I don't know that I really believe this is happening. Wiley, is that how you felt?

In all this I am planning the what ifs of my death too... Which is a little scary. I think we should all do it if we can. Purchase a plot, set aside the bucks.... Whatever has to be done. In our case we are moving towards that, something we have been saying we would do for years now.

The one thing that has changed is the moving to Egypt thing... Now we are really facing the questions of whether or not it is a good idea considering that I might be alone. Any thoughts from sisters who live there? Could I do it alone (assuming I had a financial plan and remembering that I have not yet learned Arabic)?

I just feel a little numb right now. We heard all this and then came home and life went on, 4 kids and two businesses right? ***big sigh***


suhaa said...

may Allah guide you and ease your suffering. have u ever been to egypt before? nothing is impossible if Allah's will is for something to happen, and nothing is possible without it. i actually just finalized a will..and there is an authentic hadith that Rasullilah (as) taught us to not let 2 days pass without having one prepared.

may Allah grant you patience

Wiley said...

Yeah, I spent a while alternating between not letting it sink in and then feeling like it had hit me in the stomach. It does get easier, though. You just sort of even out at acceptance. I like to think of it as the fact that no one knows when they'll die. Those of us with progressive disease just don't know over a slightly shorter period of time. For me, I'm just so blessed to still be alive after all the medical mistakes that should have killed me before I was diagnosed that I figure however long I have is a bonus. I'm not going to pretend it doesn't bother me sometimes, mostly when I have to think about what it would be like for my parents, but at this point, five or six years from my diagnosis, things are more or less back to normal. I'm more reflective, and more focused on making the most of my time, but the shock is gone, and the sadness is pretty much gone, and I think on the whole it's made me stronger.

Anonymous said...

Asalamlaykom Sis,

Start again, right? With the new info you have now, you have to start again.

Though I have not lived in Egypt (rather only visited), I did contemplate it very seriously. I've not suffered a death, but a divorce process.

Here is what I thought about: it's cheaper to live in Egypt, so you could survive there longer without working outside of the home. You could earn about $30,000 from teaching English, if you had the credidation. BUT you would be very isolated until you established a network of like-minded sisters. AND the family system, while supporting you, would also take away some of your individuality and freedom.

Living here in the U.S. without a hub in the home: You have to work eventually as money runs out quicker. You have to raise kids in a non-Islamic environment. The school system (depending which state you live in) is good and free, while in Egypt, the only good schools are private---and the teaching style is not to develop minds but to memorize facts. Here, in the U.S., you have family and a network in place. You have the ability to move about freely and make your own choices, even to the point of remarrying if you wish (which you really couldn't do around his family).

These are my opinions, based on my observations over the years. Others, of course, will have their own viewpoints. :) May you take what you can and form your own decisions.

Mona UmIbrahim said...

Salam Umm Layla, i just want to say do not give up. Just because the doctors say he has 10 years doesn't mean much. I am sure that this is part of God's plan and there's something behind it that you will find out later.

A book i read said that a person's cells completely re-generate every 7 years and can be cured from all ailments. If he really wants to live and wants to work hard for it, he could outlive me or you or any of us. No one knows when their time to die is. But it will be hard. It will require a lot of changes in his life. He can do cleanses, start exercizing, sleep at night instead of the day, no junk food/soda etc. Chapter 6 in Kevin Trudeau's book 'Natural Cures' has a huge list of things you can do.

But if he's like my grandfather when they told him he has diabetes yet didn't want to cut down on sugar etc, then of course he might die in 10 years. It's his choice in the end.

But remember, God gives tests to those he loves and wants to come nearer to Him. If this isn't a wake up call for him, i don't know what is.
May Allah give you and your family ease, strength, and patience inshaAllah. Eid Mubarak and Hugs for you and the kids.