I was just thinking of the deep thoughts bit on SNL today. Remember that? A kinda tongue in cheek response to the self help craze of the late 80's? I had a standing Saturday night babysitting job for a couple years when I was a pre-teen and I watched SNL every Saturday night. Remember Jack Handey's deep thoughts??? Here are a few that still strike me as funny;) Enjoy. And try not to wonder what someone who finds these funny pays for therapy. I am such an interesting case that I get all my professional help for free!LOL
Deep Thoughts
The first thing was, I learned to forgive myself. Then I told myself, 'Go ahead, do whatever you want, it's ok by me.'
Jack Handey
If you ever drop your keys into a river of molten lava, let'em go, because, man, they're gone.
Jack Handey
If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down? We might, if they screamed all the time, for no good reason.
Jack Handey
I wish I had a dollar for every time I spent a dollar, because then, Yahoo!, I'd have all my money back.
Jack Handey
Somebody told me how frightening it was how much topsoil we are losing each year, but I told that story around the campfire and nobody got scared.
Jack Handey
If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that's what *really* throws you into a panic.
Jack Handey
Instead of having "answers" on a math test, they should just call them "impressions," and if you got a different "impression," so what, can't we all be brothers?
Jack Handey
I wish I would have a real tragic love affair and get so bummed out that I'd just quit my job and become a bum for a few years, because I was thinking about doing that anyway.
Jack Handey
As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red again, I sat there thinking about life. Was it nothing more than a bunch of honking and yelling? Sometimes it seemed that way.
Jack Handey
Sometimes I think you have to march right in and demand your rights, even if you don't know what your rights are, or who the person is you're talking to. Then on the way out, slam the door.
Jack Handey
If you're a cowboy and you're dragging a guy behind your horse, I bet it would really make you mad if you looked back and the guy was reading a magazine.
Jack Handey
Consider the daffodil. And while you're doing that, I'll be over here, looking through your stuff.
Jack Handey
Broken promises don't upset me. I just think, why did they believe me?
Jack Handy
9 comments:
Oh man, I so did not appreciate deep thoughts back in the day. Those are hysterical! I need a bumper stickermachine!
Love and Peace,
~Brooke
"If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror, because I bet that's what *really* throws you into a panic."
Classic!
Keep up the good work!
FYI, I'm trying to keep the "Deep Thought" spirit alive with www.tender-thoughts.com.
-Matt
AA- UmmLayla,
Very funny. However, I didn't get the cowboy one.
Thanks for the comic relief! :-)
I love that stuff, it goes so well with my warped sense of humor. Thanks for the laugh!
LOLOL
My brother has that book. Haven't seen it in a long time! :)
That is so funny! Thank you for sharing. I remember these and they are classic!
Great work!
Love the Deep Thoughts! Keep up the good work,
I found some old coke bottles in my father's garage, so I cut off the bottoms and made a pair of spectacles. Now, when people tell me my glasses look thicker than coke bottles, I reply "Same size, actually."
www.Tender-Thoughts.com
the molten lava one is my favorite of all time! in college we used to say that one back to each other all the time. Love it
salams
I remember Jack Handey!
Great stuff. :)
BTW: I like your blog. I'm a home-birthin', breastfeedin', future home-schoolin' crunchy mama of two. Nice to "meet" you.
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