Friday, February 09, 2007

Living in a small town while Muslim

When you have a last name and a face like DH, people don't forget you. And in a small town this is never good for a minority. It seems like this week has just been bad with that.

I mentioned in an earlier post my DH being stopped by the police when picking me and the kids up at school... Well that same officer came when he called the other day because a lady was spitting at him and got into his car and started hitting him with a rolled up newspaper (long story), and had the nerve to have him "step away from the vehicle" even after he insisted that our 4yo was in the car and he thought he should stay with him. And get this... The lady remembered the call where she stopped us and thought maybe he started the altercation with this crazy woman because he thought she was the person who called on him back on September of '06... WHAT? OK, lets review... We had no idea who called on him and really thought it was no big deal since the lady saw him with the kids and me... And you should just basically erase the call about him sitting on the school grounds once you know he has kids in said school, right? Basically she told him he was intimidating the woman, and it was all his fault and to watch himself in the future. UGH

Then, I got a call from the youth officer about the kids being absent (which was excused BTW) last week. He said we have reached a list of some sort where they have to warn us no more tardy or absent kiddos. Fine. But the day after DH's run in with the officer who patrols the kid's school area?

Then, a grouchy lady at the bank who has just always hated me didn't want to issue my DH a new card (his doesn't work) because I ask her to issue new cards all the time and she can't keep doing that. Come to find out she is talking about a time last year before the baby was born when I had to have new cards issued because one got lost in the mail and two for another account had the names wrong. UGH

DH is mad. Really mad. He thinks I have to be super careful about things because I should know people here are out to get us. My mistakes give them a reason to pick on us. Well, I can't deny that our problems with the park manager here where we live have something to do with my confronting her when she comes knocking at my door to complain about kid's toys in the yard... Considering that I got a place with a yard so the kids could have outside toys, yeah it ruffles my fur a little. And, I am not so great with the tardy thing... But the no more than 5 tardys a year thing is a little extreme, at least for a lady dragging four kids in the snow at 8am. And the bank, I just don't know what to say about that. I make them actually work sometimes (counting coins being their least favorite), and you know how employees hate that.

You know, the more I think about it the more the only good that could come out of this place is a piece of land where we could raise some chickens and maybe a dairy cow and a big fat organic garden. Insha'Allah. Insha'Allah.


Romer!can said...

Hopefully, DH has the presence of mind to recognize these trials as normal xenophobia for a small town which must be endured and forgiven.

He already has the keen sense to avoid confrontation wherever possible, it seems.

Let's not forget the other side of the coin. It's (most likely) a small homogeneous town of largely less-educated persons who fear the unknown; not America or Americans.

Good luck finding the necessary patience.

UmmBadier said...

My mistakes give them a reason to pick on us...I resist scarcasm here, I RESIST!!!
But the no more than 5 tardys a year thing is a little extreme...I really don't think this one is about ya'll...It's alllll about $$$. The school loses A LOT of money when your kids don't get there. That's all. I really wish you could homeschool, it does seem Allah is testing you Uhkti, inshallah!

Umm Yehiya said...

Umm Badier - salaamu alaikum, sis...what do you mean the school loses a lot of money when the kids don't get there on time? Just curious. :)

Umm Layla - All I can say is ugh. ugh, ugh, ugh. How horrible, how disgusting, to have to put up with this crap.

These are just a few examples of the many, many reasons why, as a muslim, it makes sense to live in a muslim country. We just got back from a visit to Egypt, masha'allah, and it was so disheartening how, the second we set foot on American soil we started being treated like crap again.

Not to mention all the ANNOYING, UPTIGHT rules they have here in the US about EVERYTHING.

I can so sympathize with you about the dragging the 4 kids to school in the snow at 8 am thing. I only have ONE kid, mind you, but it seems there's always somebody - some complete stranger - wanting to interfere with how I do things as a parent, while trying my best & everything.

You will be in my duas insha'allah, sister.

Assalaamu alaikum!

P.S. if you want to talk about the Egypt thing, how do I contact you, insha'allah?

UmmBadier said...

Walaikum Asalam Umm Yehiya,
Each school is given so much $$$$ per child each school year. It varies from state to state, but after a certain specific time...say 10:00 AM, if your child is later than that the school does not get paid for your child that day. Of course if your child is absent, they don't get paid either. So Umm Layla's tardy/absent little bunch is quite a loss for the school.
Umm Layla,
If you lived in Alaska you could get $1,500- $2,000 of allotment per child to homeschool with...but really we would rather see you make hijrah, yeah?

UmmBadier said...

haha I said scarcasm, What a biting tongue I have!

UmmLayla said...

Romerican, I think that you are right... I try to excuse the local cowboys, it's just hard.

Ummbadier, I never resist sarcasm o this bog... Why should you?LOL

I wish I could just homeschool too. But it is just too complicated with DH right now. Insha'Allah he will change his views or we will make hijrah where I am all for school so the kids could get to know other Muslim families (which has it's own problems, but hey).

The tardies we are talking about are like the 2nd bell rings at 8:14 and my kids roll in the door as the bell rings and get to thier class at like 8:17. Anything after that bell is a tardy. We are talking minutes, not hours. That's the stupid part.

UmmYehiya, and we can exchange #'s or something. Insha'Allah.

Thanks for the support as usual guys. It's always nice.

Laura said...

Assalamu Alaikum ya Ukhti,

I feel for you sister, I really do. I come from a village...or more like a Hamlet and though I left that place a long time ago, I often wonder what it would be like if I returned now that I'm a Muslim.

My husband is also Egyptian alhamdolilah and we are returning to Canada in June. I haven't been back from the Middle East since then so I pray that life in this post 9-11 society won't be too bad...inshaAllah

Millie said...

Maybe DH should mount one of those cameras that police cruisers have in his car so he can play it back for the police next time he is accused of intimidating an innocent bystander into beating him over the head with a newspaper! And...I swear my sons' school purposely run their clocks faster. I'd check with "the atomic clock" and inform the school if their clocks are off (or if they have a few screws loose:)).