Every year we have a heated debate about school. I just don't think my husband and I will EVER see eye-to-eye on the topic of educating our children. He is dead set on having them in some sort of "school" type activity. He doesn't care so much what or where. I care ALOT. I would rather have them home away from all the lovely things cowboy country has to offer anyone whose name isn't Billy Bob Smith. But DH insists that they "need" to get a real taste of the world as it is. HUMPH.Alhamdulilah, this year they were drawn in a lottery for a spot in the University Lab School. There are a total of about 15-20 kids in each grade and their record for culture, diversity and great science programs is good. The middle schoolers were even part of an archaeological dig in the area last year. So, I am much more pleased with this year's school... But I still am not sure that I am OK with the situation we are in here. I will continue with The Well Trained Mind as a supplemental, but I am still worried about negative socialization.
What's a Muslim in an isolated area to do? I struggle with my own identity as a Muslim here, how can I help my kids feel like they are Muslim under these circumstances? I know that things will work out, and Allah (swt) guides who he will... But I am worried that I need to do more to help my children feel as if they are Muslim first and foremost. UGHHHH! I have made myself a promise that this year I will not let DH trample all over the holidays and the plans I make for the family. I will not let him dissuade me if I find an activity for the kids with other Muslim children. I will drive to Denver if I have to.
I just pray that we have a better situation as far as the deen soon. I am tired. I hate this place. I don't know what we are doing here anymore. Yah Allah!
7 comments:
Okay, I'm fascinated.
But Wyoming?
It's a cesspool of ignorance and hatred.
Salams Sis,
I feel deeply for you and my little siblings on this one. I see the Muslim children of re/converts and immigrant Muslims really suffering in their deen when they attend public school...of course this is where some ADULT Muslim will chime in about how they are fine...of course their experience would no doubt be very different form yours... It is hard enough to raise children responsibly according to THEIR Islamic rights.
When my husband wanted the kids to go to school, I told him he would have to rearrange his entire schedule-as it went against every fiber in my body to assist in that endeavor-he would have to get them up, feed them, dress them, make the lunch, drop them off and pick them up. i would have nothing, nothing to do with it. I wouldn't even wash their "school clothes." And I was serious.
Do I even have to say-he didn't enroll them.
About the isolation thing...you know we don't even have a mosque here. There are two Muhsalas and I would estimate the total number of brothers at Jummah for both would be maybe 30. I have felt guilt about my children's isolation (especially from Muslim family) for three years now. Recently I had a semi-comforting epiphany. Ultimately, my husband and I have the most responsibility to our children for the sake of Allah and I can not count on anyone else to contribute to their raising. I can look at this isolation as an opportunity to truly protect and fully educate them during this time, inshallah. I still long for them to have their Grandma's love, but inshallah that will come and in the meantime, they don't know the difference and they are very well bonded to each others, masha Allah.
I really hate the school thing for you sis. I think you can flip the isolation thing though, inshallah.
Love and Salam,
~Ummbadier
Wow, we use The Well-Trained Mind also. Dh is also pretty critical of me homeschooling, we do it full-time. It makes it worse the fact that I have a hard time keeping to schedule, but mashallah the kids really do still learn. I also had to go through dh threatening to put the kids in school. But so far they are still home.
umasiya
btw, my husband's not Egyptian, but we live in Egypt!
You know, when I go back to the West where I live I'm always saying, what am I doing here? I hate this place. But then I realised that God put me there for a reason. Who knows? Maybe being the only Muslim there is actually God's plan for you to be a positive dawah face there so people understand that muslims and Islam isn't about terrorism and all the things we hear about on TV.
I totally understand how you feel about negative socialisation. I'd be worried with my children too, and although I completely agree with you, I still think your husband has a point- they do need to deal with the real world. If we plant good seeds in our children and teach them right from wrong and to be honest with us and tell us everything, maybe they can survive through school outside?
Pray Istakhara and see what happens sis...I really pray for you and I'm so happy to have had a comment from you on my blog :)
Take care...
Unique
Ummbadier, LOL! You have the right idea putting it all on him!!! But my DH would never go for that. He would just nag me until I changed my mind. I think the school thing is killing me because I feel I don't have any control over the things they are seeing and doing every day. But, insha'Allah, it will all work out in the end. I really hope we can come to a real decision about where we will be in the long term soon, that would help me know more how much I should push for them to stay home. I know if they pass a certain age here in WY I WILL NOT let them go to school. Insha'Allah we will be elsewhere by then.
Umasiya, I think WTM makes sense for so many reasons. Keeping a schdual is hard, and isn't having some flexability one of the benefits of HSing anyway? I know what you mean, schedual was a BIG reason for DH to send the kids to a regular school. There are other things too though in our sitaution... Like his freaky schedual... But I won't go there...
Unique, yeah I think there is a dawah element. But I keep asking myself if I am strong enough to be that person. If I'm the light here it's fading baby. Insha'Allah we can regroup and go to a majority Muslim country at some point... Although that has it's problems too!LOL
You ARE the right person for it, of course you are sis, insha'Allah even with your smile you'll be doing just that :)
I hope that you will be able to find peace and comfort and community for you and your family. Isolation is a painful thing. It takes so much energy to persist when you feel unsupported by your surroundings.
I wish the best for you, whatever that may be. I wish you Peace and a joyful life, wherever that may be.
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