The thoughts of an American Muslim and mother of four raising her children in small town USA with her Egyptian husband.
Friday, September 07, 2007
Don't let the dunya rule you...
And I mean that. Of course we all KNOW this but only in an intellectual way. All we have ever experienced is the dunya, hence it is natural to get caught up in it. Well, I for one am working on transcendence. But DH has a rope and is ready to tie me to it if he has to. He is all about money and jobs and planning for the future. Trust me, I think about the future but I have an all too real idea that the future I am planning for might be changed in an instant, I am not in charge. So when something happens, I move on. Lately DH just gets stuck in this circular thinking about how bad things are. So he is obsessing about work and money and investments... And I am planning for Ramadan. Today he told me "Wake up yah Amu! We have real problems!" Yes we do, we have four children who have to learn that Allah decides their fate... And I don't think he's even getting it!
The example that I give, and I'm sure anyone who knows me is sick of hearing it, is my father-in-law. FIL was a supreme court judge in Egypt. And, masha'Allah he was a good one who participated in many extra court sessions on illegal gains and had his contract extended many times beyond his mandatory retirement age. When he finally did retire from the Egyptian legal system he took a job in a gulf country. It paid well, very very well by Egyptian standards. The same year, my SIL was in a car accident and EVERY extra penny that he made went to medical care, lawyers, living expenses and all the other things that came up with her rehabilitation and her decision to live here in the US because of accessibility. Now, did my FIL do the right thing by pursuing an extra income for his family? Of course. Did it mean he left his family with tons of money to spare? Did he secure his kids (as I'm sure he intended)? Did DH have money to get married and live easy for the first years? No, uh-uh, nope.
I guess what I'm driving at is don't look at the outcome of your choices as something that stops here. There is only failure and unfairness if you are limiting your accounting to this life. And it seems to me that satisfaction in this life is a slippery little creature. The more you chase it the faster it runs.
Enjoy the gifts you have been given. Savor the moments of contentment when you find them. Wonder at the beauty of this earth. But keep in mind that we are not here only for this. And this is temporary in comparison what comes after death. So, if you want a long term investment... Don't build your bank account. Build your garden in Jennah, insha'Allah.
I am a mother to four wonderful kids and the wife to one wonderful Egyptian! We live in a small town in the Midwest and work in our small businesses. I am also a Waldorf preschool teacher and childcare provider, a backyard chicken lady, a part time homeschooler, and a generally crunchy mama (think hijabi in birks).