OK, I know it may not be a popular idea... I once heard a joke, What is the difference between men and women's expectations in marriage? Women marry men expecting them to change everything. Men marry women expecting they won't change a thing.
In that line of thinking, I started to ask myself what do I do differently now? Well, I used to dress more for the house... Put on makeup... Leave my hair down... So many little things. And I decided to start doing them again. I had the idea that just because my house is a mess doesn't mean I have to be. So over the last week, I fixed the hair color DH has been teasing me about, I have been dressing nice from the time I get up in the morning and I have been putting on a little makeup while in the house. And you know what? It was like a new lease on marriage. I won't go into the details but lets just say nap time hasn't just been for the baby this week and everyone smiles a little more freely.
I don't want to go all 50's house wife on you here... But no one says you can't use your feminine whiles for the common good of the home and still be empowered. Actually, maybe more empowered because a satisfied man is more ready to satisfy his wife, right? So just a thought ladies... Go put on a little makeup and a nice outfit. He won't be looking at the lbs you gained since the last baby, he'll feel like he got his bride back;) Just my two piasters.
PS. If you are usually a mess like me don't be surprised if your DH and kids look at you a little strange when you appear all cleaned up!LOL
7 comments:
Agreed 100%. I've experienced the WONDERS that this can do for your marriage - but it was my husband's idea. Actually, he'd been urging me now and again for years - but I never followed suit. Since that type o' stuff's not really been my nature (thus far) it was really difficult for me to keep up. However, my husband (maybe like many men) truly NEEDS this stuff from me. It makes him HAPPY (weird, we women know). It was only very recently that a lightbulb went off in my head and I realized that these things weren't just niceties - they were truly important for our marriage. So for the first time it became a real priority for me - and I've made a conscious change on this topic, alhamdulileh. My husband is so happy - mashaAllah. And alhamdulileh, it was only possible through the help and grace of Allah, through lots and lots of dua' begging Him to make this easy for me. And you know what? I spent some moolah on some new makeup, I brought out my old "real clothes" to wear around the house (sweaters, jeans, button down shirts...not track pants, etc.)and I'm really getting into it! I found cool makeup that I like, and I feel like I'm gettin' kinda artistic (um, like I used to be? way back when...), paintin' with lovely colors on the canvas of my face, mashaAllah.... :)
Good work, Umm Layla! Good work. :D
i learned two tricks from my algerian SIL. I don't do it every day (she is a sahm and while she works as hard as me she has the ability to budget her time without asking ten people) but I do it just for kicks. It's the "dress up and having steaming dinner waiting at home with hot bread" trick, and the "breakfast in bed" trick. Works wonders. And doesn't take much effort. And by dressing up all they want is a nice Arab gown and some tinted moisturizer anyway.
I know what you mean. Its embarassing how often I just put my hair up in a knot and schlep around in pjs or whatever.
You have reminded me that I need to do this, not just for him, but for me too.
By the way, I just redid my template today, I feel your pain! It was worth it though...let me know what you think? Thanks!
*SIGH* I'm newly married to an Egyptian so we're still in that phase (the always dressing up for eachother one-aka the honeymoon phase), I was driving home from work the other day and they were talking on the radio that about 12% of women wear makeup to bed because they don't want their husbands to see them without makeup at any point.
I love my husband but even I am not that hardcore. Its got to be rough on their pores and their pillows.
also double lol at the piaster reference.
Well, Molly... Congratulations on your marriage! There is doing your best and there is unrealistic!LOL I hope that everyone's DH knows what they look like w/o make-up... I don't wear make-up outside of the house sooooo, it's easy to get in a rut and let DH forget that I can look a little more polished and all that.
Make-up to bed... Sheesh. I have bigger worries!LOL Like my tummy after 4 kids! If he can't handle no mascara what's he going to say to all the strech marks!LOL Alhamdulilah, it's dark anyway:P
lol! he'll say MashAllah and love the kids you carried around for nine months each. :D
Im the type of person that feels icky with anything on my face. I like the idea of eyeliner, though. But that's it? If my husband didn't like me without makeup and I felt forced to sleep with it at night even, I would probably have considered my marriage over, subhanAllah.
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