Monday, April 20, 2009

I HATE shopping!!!

I used to LOVE shopping. No, really. Especially for shoes. I was known for my unique shoes. I had my "utility" pair of birks, but everything else was an original. I think I did some serious damage to my feet shoving them into platforms. And I had a thing for tall boots with short skirts. I'm short you see, and long dresses and loose clothes will inevitably leave me looking frumpy and grandma-ish. So along with the normal changes that go with becoming an actual adult and having to dress like one, I am also still struggling with how to rock the modesty thing. You see once I was stripped of my platforms and my baby-doll dresses, my retro chic thrift-store finds, I was left with very little in my wardrobe. I had a total of maybe 2 pairs of drawstring pants, 1 skirt and 2 shirts that I could wear when I converted. And I solved the problem with a few jilbabs. They were the overcoat style and I liked them for teaching, they looked professional. Then I moved to Wyoming and married a man who thinks jilbabs are for the porter's (AKA doorman's) wife. And the wardrobe thing has been a problem ever since.

So I guess it's no surprise that I HATE shopping. Of course when I have to take the kids it's a nightmare. Any mom with more than one will have that problem. But even when I go on my own I find myself staring blankly at rack after rack and finding nothing. Then you add into it that everything I like DH will hate and everything he suggests I will hate... It just sucks the joy right out of the experience!!!

I guess all hijabis here in the states suffer from this to some degree, but I am getting down to a bare closet here and I will have to face my shopping demons soon. I just don't know where I am supposed to shop, or even what I am looking for. Every time I buy something I am compromising, and nothing fits me correctly. You see, I am short... No, shorter than that. 5 feet in shoes short. So, everything is long through the arms and the waist is in the wrong place. So, I have trouble finding things that don't look goofy because the "waist" is cinching the chunky part of my belly. And though I consider the top of my knuckles the correct length for a long sleeve (I used to loop my thumbs through before it was cool and they made juniors Shirts that way) when the shoulders slump and the arms are 2-3 inches over the end of my hand, it's too much.

So here I am, the one bright spot in my shopping trips is Sephoria (cosmetics). And I end up buying clothes that don't fit and don't reflect my personality. I feel like such a frump. I just wish I could find even one outfit that made me feel great. Oh, and if I could find a store that consistently carried even something as basic as loose shirts that actually cover my behind... That would just be icing.

So:P on shopping. Maybe someday I will find a way to enjoy it again but for now it's a chore.


Anonymous said...

Me too....I don't like to try things on and it takes forever for me to find something I do want to try on and then it usually does not fit. I really like to measure myself and buy online =)

I have found as far as modesty goes....maxi dresses & skirts are super in style right now so stock up. I know a guy in Thailand who sells great skirts. He's on ebay his store is Nepal Silk. The shipping is knda expensive but, he does only charge full price for the 1st item then all others are really cheap, just ask him how much before you buy. He's really nice and always answers you straight away.

Arm sleeves can be your best friends, especially since they don't add layers of clothing to you in the hot Summer & knee legnth dresses with jeans under them are fab.

I always have trouble finding high neck under shirts for dresses or tops whose neck is too low but, Shukr does have some & they have some pretty great clothes in general.

Just measure your self real well and order online. I don't think I've vere liked shopping, even when I was a kid. I get overwhelmed and have no idea where to start looking. Online is so much easier.

Muslim Hippie said...

I agree with Tiffany Nicole. Online shopping is your best bet. I discovered some etsy stores that custom make , so you can just give them your size, and they have some modest stuff. They are definitely more expensive than regular stores, but the quality is great and it's a one of a kind made to fit your size. I would invest in some stuff. If you ever go to Egypt, you'll find lots of hijab friendly stylish stores. Egyptian women tend to be short.

Here' are some links for you. I hope you like them

I bought their skirt pant and Love them(

Jaz said...

Hey, I'm short too and actually you see loads of abayas for women 5'1" and under. Infact, "muslim clothes" for shorter women are easier to find than, say, petite jeans in non-muslim clothing.
However, I know what you mean about no more heels and short skirts. Long skirts don't necessarily make you look stumpy though! I think a long skirt can make petites look so nice, and looking small isn't a bad thing!
I still wear platform heels, jeans and a top when I wear hijab, so long flowing clothes don't really present a problem for me.
As Muslim Hippie said, Egyptian women DO tend to be short. Not all of them of course, but it just shows that Muslim clothes + short women is pretty much the norm. It's also easier to find hijab-friendly clothes there.
Good Luck!

Melissa said...

There are numerous stores that cater to petites, or at least have a section for them. I don't think there is a Talbot's in your area, but you can try looking online if you don't mind shopping online. I can't say they cater specifically to modest tastes, but they do have some items that work for hijabis, though I'm not sure their online selection is great.
Anyways it sounds like online might be the way to go!

Umm Yehiya said...

I have an awesome suggestion: Shukr Online.

I too used to dress cool, and then became a frump when I converted, and was uncomfortable and unimpressed with my style (or lack thereof) until a friend turned me on to Shukr. (I went through a period of all black abayas & huge black hijabs, but it lasted about a Egyptian relatives criticized it, my husband liked it, and while it IS commendable to dress like the mothers of the believers, I started feeling like I wanted to fit in more, in an Islamically acceptable way.)

I love their clothes, and mashaAllah, nearly everything I wear out of the house is from there (unless we're in Egypt going to something fancy, then hubby insists abayas are for "fancy," not shirts & skirts).

I AM an adult now, so the arty, punky days are gone, but that's as it should be, I came to realize (long after my husband pointed out that I'm not a kid anymore, heh heh). And Shukr suits that new, grown-up, modest muslima that I am.

I could be a spokesperson for them, I love them so much. I HAVE written to them about my love, LOL, which is unlike me!

I simply can't find anything else like it. I've tried poking around in stores, hoping to find something less expensive, but it ends up being a huge waste of time. So I decided it's worth having quality stuff that I really like over quantity. I just save up for awhile (they have free shipping over a certain amount), and that lasts for a long time. Or if I have my own cash on me that I earned, that may be where it goes. ;)

There's my two piasters. ;)

UmmLayla said...

Thanks for all the feedback ladies! I have been searching the internet and I did find a few things.

Mh, the links gave me an idea... I dug out a pattern for a pant skirt and insha'allah I will finish it today and if I like it I will get more fabric and make a few more. I added on outside pockets because I thought that was cute, and there are a few other modifications I have in mind.

I think the big barrier for me is $$$. I feel weird spending more than maybe 30 on a top. So, I need to get over that and buy what I like rather than trying to save by choosing a cheaper option just because it's cheaper.

And I have to look at shukr again, I got some shirts from there and they come in at the waist and they just don't fit quite right on me. And dh got me tons of things in egypt, but nothing for day to day wearing.

Muslim Hippie said...

Oh I'm so glad the links gave you ideas, If I could sew I would totally make my own stuff. Please share the finished product after you're done I'm very interested!
And let us know where you found the pattern; who knows maybe one day...


Anonymous said...

I totally agree. Shopping Stinks! It is very frustrating not to find the right sizes, "halal" styles, and affordable prices.
I too wonder how you be not frumpy, when you can't find what you need. This is why I am happy to wean and go back to easy and roomy abayas. (I can't coordinate clothes very well anyway).
I miss cool socks and clogs. Can't imagine spending that kind of money these days...
If your get to go back to Egypt just save up your money and shop there, or have things tailored.

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