Alhamdulilah (my washer is running again!!!)

So after being prompted by DH and the prospect of shelling out $150 for the pump on my washer, I searched the internet and found a no cost solution. It seems that these Whirlpool Duet HE washers have a filter under the front kick plate right before the pump that you can just turn (there's a little handle) and pull out. People on repair sites were saying that this could clog up and cause the same error as the pump being bad... So I popped off the kick plate (after moving Mt. Laundry from in front of the washer) and pulled it out. I found nasty gray rotting things clogging the filter to the point where they took the shape of the opening including, but not limited to... A baby sock, costume jewelry, popsicle sticks, ball pint pens, paperclips and slime. I dumped the stuff, cleaned the filter and popped it all back in. I am on my second load with no error... Which, insha'Allah, is a sign that I won't be hauling butt to the laundry-mat this week. Alhamdulilah.

It has occurred to me...

So I am seeing the fact that I haven't been a properly social blogger these days, and I want to say I'm sorry. I am just busy and I don't mean to offend. So, if i haven't answered a comment, made one on your blog, or replied to a tag. I know it, and it's nothing personal... I am trying to work out a time when I can be on the computer and do more than just blurk, so I'll be back... In the mean time, don't hate me cause I'm anti-social!!! You all know I love you, right?

Random thoughts on a random day...

I am running around trying to get things cleaned up while DH has the kids out for the day and I always have these random thoughts that aren't really posts, more like post seedlings. So I thought today I would share the torturous labyrinth of profundity that is my mind when I should be thinking about the task at hand!LOL

here they are in bullets not numbers, since numbers would feel like I'm ordering them by some criteria in my mind.

**DH should study the deen and open a question and answer session like they have at Azhar... The only problem would be that sometimes he would have to like follow you for the day and get to know you before he would answer. Seriously, I would call it "Fiqh you can use", "Fiqh for this century" or "Fiqh for the rest of us". Really, that guy is the master of analyzing situations and people. Except me, but that's another story:P

**I think that I am going to have to tear my book that I have been working on apart and re-vamp the entire thing rather than re-writing it. The storyline came to me while I was polishing the stainless steel kitchen sink the other day. (don't think I'm a clean freak, 'cause I'm a mess... I'm using a program called flylady where the first step is to shine your kitchen sink.)

**I really want to see that new movie "Coraline" I'm dying to know what the whole button eyes thing is about.

**I can't find the book for my book club on tape. Which means that I can't listen and then read it to let it absorb properly. This strangely bums me out.

**People sometimes get upset that "foreigners" are "stealing" people away from marrying people from the same country. Trust me, if you marry a foreigner (assuming you are happy) there was no way you were going to get along with a spouse from your culture. Something about you was always a little outside the norm, for you different fits.

**Trash seems to breed in my house. I think there were more cans on the tables than I remember seeing anyone drink since yesterday.

**I get obsessive when using Lysol. We are on the second week of a stomach flu and my only good idea so far is that the boys are somehow re-infecting themselves... So I got out the Lysol to do their room. Before I knew it I had stripped every bed in the house and sprayed it liberally. And the door handles. And the light switches. Needless to say I had to arrange proper ventilation shortly after.

**Audiobooks are my friends.

**I need to start planning my menus again, and when I do I will start posting to my yahoo group for menu planning again. Insha'Allah.

**We just changed insurance and I am going crazy wondering if I made the right choice!!! It changes on the 15th and I keep hedging on it. In theory ours now is better, but they have all these exclusions and find a way not to pay anything.

**After sitting through the movie of "The Yacoubian Building" and being able to tell who was who and what they were saying before DH could translate it (they stuck pretty close to the book) DH is pressing my to get my masters in Lit. Something I may actually do.

**Like I said, I am following a program called Flylady and one of the things you do is get up and dressed and ready for your day before the family. That means showered, dressed, face fixed and ready to go out the door. Usually I don't get dressed until after dropping the kids off. Since I started doing this, DH is convinced I'm trying to impress someone at the kid's school:P

OK, OK... Enough randomness. You get the idea. These are the things that roll around in my head while I clean... What about you?

women and friendship

One of the things I have been thinking about a lot lately is the fact that I don't have friends here in WY. This leads to the general subject of women and our generally social nature. Yes, even those of us who feign disdain of society and such in general.

Women are not like men in their need for friends. You will never see a man complaining that his BFF broke up with him. No. Men seem blissfully unaware of the status of their friendships and can pick up and leave off with other male friends without a thought. Unless a friend really crosses some line (and even then sometimes) men don't stop being friends. And it seems that men don't obsess about things like not having a social life outside of work. They go with the flow. They are fine as a lone hunter.

Women, on the other hand are more symbiotic. They NEED friends. Having friends keeps them going. Having friends is the reason that they care about their wardrobe and their home decor. Think about it for a minute? Does your DH notice your new bag (before he sees the bank statement)? Are you impressing him with your new shoes? No. Women are constantly working within the female half of our social structure.

So, being left out of it for any significant period leaves us floundering. And I am so there right now. I need a friend to go places with. To have tea with. To swap hijabs with. **sigh** But I just don't fit in with women here in WY. I could blame the bias they have against Muslims... But it goes deeper than that. I'm just different fundamentally. I don't fit in here. WY is a very closed social structure, and I know that other people not from here must experience it too.

I guess I just I'm just saying think about it. I hope you are all grateful for the friends you have, because being cut off is a struggle.

My washer hates me :(

As usual I have a huge pile of laundry and there are even more loads than usual this week because the kids have the flu. I don't want to get graphic here, but they are the kind of loads that can't wait. And my moody HE washer is giving me an error and shutting off about 10 times during an average cycle. I heard it beeping the error code just now and I am only rinsing a load!!! I am seriously annoyed with my laundry situation at this point. I am running the dryer for 2 hours every time I dry because it sucks, and I am doing smaller loads since the washer is acting up... And even with that the whole process is not making a dent in my laundry pile. It takes me a whole afternoon to wash and dry one load!!!

OK. So if you read that a woman in WY loaded her washer on the truck and then took it out into the woods to shoot it... You will know that's me.

You might be missing the point...

Just a ha ha kinda thing from me... Don't be offended, I know we girls want to look our best... Just have a laugh.


Top 10 clues that you might be a little too concerned about looking good in your hijab (therefore kinda missing the whole point of hijab)...

10. You once put hairspray on your hijab by mistake.

9. You have enlisted the services of a Veil Designer/ Hijab stylist.

8. You have "bad hijab" days.

7. You have missed people knocking at your door because putting on your hijab took so much time that they thought you weren't home.

6. You have excused yourself on outings to check on your hijab (and not because it was slipping off).

5. You have complicated diagrams hanging next to your mirror that instruct you on styling your hijab in various ways.

4. You are often asked, "How do you do that with your scarf?".

3. You have more ways to style your hijab than you have fingers to count them on.

2. You leave your hijab on when at home because taking it on and off requires too much effort.

And finally...

1. You have a secret fear that you are now actually prettier with your hijab ON.

DIY until I die

As an American I take DIY projects for granted. I don't know if DH's background is typical Egyptian, or typical for Cairo... But my MIL and FIL had people (servants DH would call them, but I say workers). I don't think DH had held a hammer until he moved here. They called someone to hang a picture. My MIL had a sewing machine, but a lady came once a week and did the mending for her. The thing she did do was knitting... Hats, sweaters, socks, everything. But it was like a "look how useful I can be while waiting for my kids at the club" thing.

So imagine my DH's surprise when the first thing I ever asked him for was a sewing machine... And how shocking it was when he found out I could actually use it. I won't talk about his reaction to sewing Layla's diapers!!!

Well, I LOVE that kinda stuff. The first time I ever got a flat tire my dad made me change it. I used to change my own oil in college. I made my prom dress. I traveled to fashion conscious Tokyo wearing dresses I made myself carrying a quilt as a gift for my hostess. I made my first hijabs and jilbabs. Yes, I was DIY gal when DIY wasn't cool. Which doesn't always make sense to DH.

For me there is a rush to coloring my own hair, putting in a garbage disposal, making a dress, putting diapers I made myself on a baby, giving a gift I made, serving homemade bread... Even though I don't have as much time as I would like, I do like to do things myself. And this is a pleasure lost on my DH.

The famous example DH gives (and if you ever want to hear it just bring me an apple pie someday) is that I once spent $10 on the stuff to make an apple pie and DH saw one in the store the next day for $5. And that is how his mind works. DIY only makes sense if it saves you money... Is this a DH thing? An Egyptian thing? An Engineer thing? I may never know. All I know is that I think he's missing out on some real fun!LOL

Seems to be going around, so here is my 100 things list...

The highlighted below are things I have done:

1. Started your own blog Well, yeah.
2. Slept under the stars
3. Played in a band I have a more musical past than you might imagine!LOL
4. Visited Hawaii
5. Watched a meteor shower
6. Given more than you can afford to charity
7. Been to DisneylandI went to school about 15 minutes away and all my friends were in the parades there, so yeah.
8. Climbed a mountain
9. Held a praying mantis
10. Sang a solo Oh, MANY.
11. Bungee jumping
12. Visited Paris
13. Watched a lightning storm at sea
14. Taught yourself an art from scratch Oddly, I seem to like doing that... Henna, knitting, crochet, cake decorating, quilting...
15. Adopted a child
16. Had food poisoning
17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty
18. Grown your own vegetables
19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France
20. Slept on an overnight train
21. Had a pillow fight
22. Hitch hiked
23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill
24. Built a snow fort I grew up in CO, sheesh.
25. Held a lamb
26. Gone skinny dipping
27. Run a Marathon
28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice
29. Seen a total eclipse
30. Watched a sunrise or sunset
31. Hit a home run
32. Been on a cruise
33. Seen Niagara Falls in person
34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors
35. Seen an Amish community
36. Taught yourself a new language
37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied
38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa in person
39. Gone rock climbing
40. Seen Michelangelo’s David
41. Sung karaoke In Japan, it's birthplace!LOL
42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt
43. Bought a stranger a meal at a restaurant
44. Visited Africa
45. Walked on a beach by moonlight
46. Been transported in an ambulance
47. Had your portrait painted
48. Gone deep sea fishing
49. Seen the Sistine Chapel in person
50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris
51. Gone scuba diving or snorkelling
52. Kissed in the rain
53. Played in the mud
54. Gone to a drive-in theater
55. Been in a movie I was an actor in a college with a film department;P
56. Visited the Great Wall of China
57. Started a businessmore than 1.
58. Taken a martial arts class Aikido.
59. Visited Russia
60. Served at a soup kitchen
61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies
62. Gone whale watching
63. Got flowers for no reason
64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma
65. Gone sky diving
66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp
67. Bounced a check
68. Flown in a helicopter
69. Saved a favourite childhood toy
70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial
71. Eaten caviar
72. Pieced a quilt
73. Stood in Times Square
74. Toured the Everglades
75. Been fired from a job
76. Seen the Changing of the Guards in London
77. Broken a bone
78. Been on a speeding motorcycle
79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person
80. Published a book
81. Visited the Vatican
82. Bought a brand new car
83. Walked in Jerusalem
84. Had your picture in the newspaper Front page baby!!!
85. Read the entire Qur’an/Bible/Torah A translation of the Quran, and the Bible for a Bible as literature class.
86. Visited the White House
87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating DH and I have slaughtered and prepared many times.
88. Had chickenpox
89. Saved someone’s life
90. Sat on a jury
91. Met someone famous Val Kilmer, Amy Tan... Both for writing related things.
92. Joined a book club
93. Lost a loved one
94. Had a baby Well, yeah.
95. Seen the Alamo in person
96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake
97. Been involved in a law suit
98. Owned a cell phone
99. Been stung by a bee
100. Read an entire book in one day I LOVE doing that. Just bite it all off in one big chunk!!! You really feel the flow of the writing that way. I think Faulker in particular MUST be read in that fashion.

So much for feeling fabulous

I have given up girly in favor of functional for the past 9 years as I have raised little ones. There is no glamour in spit stains after all. I have been slowly getting back to body lotions and nice little grooming products...

So I was taking a long shower the other day, enjoying some new products and the 2 year old woke up and used her potty. Somehow she also knocked my glasses off of the sink INTO THE POTTY!

I learned two things from this experience. 1) There is no glamour in motherhood. 2) Clorox does not produce enough bleach to make you feel good about wearing glasses that have taken a dip in a toilet.

Yeah.

10,000 hours, what are you doing with them???

I am reading an interesting book; Outliers, by Malcolm Gladwell. It poses an interesting question about success. Basically, what are the key elements of success. One thing that is discussed caught my attention. The author proposes that the number for being excellent at an activity is set; 10,000 hours. From hockey to computer programming, he found that people who we consider to be gifted in certain areas have all somehow spent more than 10,000 hours practicing their skill with the intention of improving it.

What is that? 1 1/2 hours a day for 20 years. 3 hours a day for 10 years. 6 hours a day for five years. Or, if you are really dedicated… 12 hours a day for a year and about 4 months. So could you, would you, do it?

It has gotten me thinking. We are all 10,000 hours away from being excellent at something we have an aptitude for. Are we willing to spend those 10,000 hours? Apparently, if you want to be a standout in your area you need to find them. And isn’t that crazy when you think about it?

It makes you think that all things are in our reach, if we only try. I’m not saying that you will be rich or famous if you spend that time… But you will have the potential to be. Maybe that’s why so many good writers have given the seemingly simple advice to fledgling authors, “just write every day”. They already knew the 10,000 hours thing even if they weren’t calling it that.

Kinda makes you think twice about that hour you spend in front of the TV huh? You could have memorized the entire Quran, written your first novel, painted your first work of art, built a piece of furniture, whatever you are good at. I think I will be writing for at least an hour every day myself… What about you???

Salmeh's new friend!

Here is a new doll I made for the baby. I think I am going to try a second one and fix some of the mistakes I made this time. But overall I think she's pretty fun.

Study Centers

So here are the his and hers study centers for the kids... I have included some more detailed picture's, but basically they are a home for supplies and books that they need for studying. It makes a difference for them because they seem to have the attitude that when you are sitting there you need to be working. The detailed pics are of Aly's desk, but all the same things are on Layla's too.


This is the hutch area where there are little containers for homework and other papers, shelf area for books and the back of it is a bulletin board. You might also notice the little white thing under the shelf, it's one of those under-counter fluorescent lights. I am a big believer in the benefits of proper lighting!LOL Plus, then the light didn't take up desk space. There is also a timer, the kids read for set amounts of time and I find a timer useful for setting up how long it should take to complete a task. Sometimes the kids just seem to do better if there is an expectation of how long something should take.


This is the right hand corner of the desk. The Rubbermaid holds pencils, pens, glue, scissors, colored pencils, post it flags, note pads and star stickers. The calendar is for placing a star on days when they complete all their work. The clock, well the same basically as the timer, time management. And the little silver thing is a digital recorder. I like them for practicing presentations and reading aloud. I can have the kids use them (or sometimes I record something on them that they can play back to memorise) for practicing reading and speaking. They can keep recording and I can listen to their progress when I have a chance. It was DH's idea and it has worked out nicely.


This is the little closed area by the feet, it has a drawer, which I am using for stored papers and a little cubby area where I am putting the workbooks that I am using with them.


This is a little keyboard pull out that I am using for learning game things right now, but will be for laptops in the future, insha'Allah. Layla will get hers at the end of the school year if she reaches certain reading goals, and Aly probably not long after. Layla seems more ready for one right now though. Of course as a dedicated reader, no reading... No laptop. I'm mean like that;)

Anyway, nothing revolutionary... But I promised I'd share so here you go!LOL

Muslims... Please!!!

I will be honest with you. My experiences at masjids have been less than transcendental spiritually fulfilling respites from the world... They have been more like smelling salts that shock me back to the reality of what Muslims today are like in large groups. Now I don't know these sisters and brother's hearts... But I do know their manners. And this Eid was yet another rude awakening to the reality that the ummah here in the US (I don't know maybe everywhere) needs some serious spit shining before we can even claim to represent this deen.

At my insistence we went to Denver to visit family the day before Eid so we would be able to go with them to the Eid prayer. This was the first time in 10 years that I have been in the larger mosque in Denver for the Eid prayer and it was CRAZY.

First, I was sitting on the side since I wasn't praying (ya'll know what I mean) and I tried to line up the older kids close to me on the ends. Sisters kept pushing them this way and that and no one on the edge was making a discernable effort to make a row, so the youngest got all flustered and came to me crying that he had no place to pray. OK, I can deal. Then after the salams all the sisters started getting up and going over to admire each other's outfits or something and no one seemed to have the slightest idea that there would be a khutba going on after the prayer... Uhhh, HELLO!!! So I made me way the center where the TV and speakers are and someone had turned the volume off. I could see, but since I don't read lips I have no idea what the brother was saying.

Then I went out to a patio area where people were milling around only to be leafleted to death. Of course said leaflets were flying all over the area in the wind within minutes. As were wrappers and balloons the kids had been given. My DH wasn't there so I started to people watch... Of course that means that I saw all the sisters with their scarves carefully perched on top of perfect hairdos which were revealed as soon as they stepped out of the mosque. And I saw the brothers drive up in customized Mercedes and Hummers which I KNOW cost more than you would ever imagine. Of course you can imagine that seeing the brothers driving their family of six off in their cab... Those cars can't be a good use of the wealth they have been given (IMHO).

So I started having my kids pick up all the trash before it blew away once the crowd was gone. Only to have a brother come and yell at them for stepping on the clothe they had spread for those praying outside. Now mind you about 10 minutes earlier the entire female congregation put on their shoes inside and then exited tramping all over that same carpet. But my kids were CLEARLY causing damage:P

Well, you see what I'm getting at. It's hard to have a religious experience when surrounded by this. I don't know what the solution is, but it's clearly a problem. So now I remember why my real religious moments in mosques have all happened during prayers that very few people attend!LOL

Eid prep...

So I am currently up watching Dexter (I'm halfway through season 3) on my dad's on demand cable and preparing gifts for Eid. Last Eid was a mess since we were in the middle of moving, so I have plans to make this one nicer. I am planning on making a pinata... And I got some nice outfits to go to the prayer in, all cute and matched. Also, I am going to hang some lights, insha'Allah. I am going to do cookie trays for the kid's teachers.

I like the whole gift giving thing so much. The one weird thing I am struggling with is a gift for DH. It feels strange to buy him something because I know he has such specific ideas for himself and it's his money I'm spending!LOL

The upshot is that I got the kid's desks today, and I really like them. I still have to get them some supplies, and some lighting.

So all of you out there getting the house ready for Eid, I wish you luck! I for one am getting excited;)

Back in the saddle again...

As you may know if you follow my blog I should have a bumper sticker that says I'd rather be home-schooling, but DH and I have differing views on the matter. I have to admit that after the first year of having the kids in school I stopped working with them after-school due to frustration levels (theirs and mine). However, recently it has come to my attention that DD #1 has stopped making reading skills progress since then. And DS #1 needs some serious help with his handwriting and geography.

So, during the time that the kids were in school this week I redid their rooms. Now we are going to make a special trip tomorrow afternoon for desks and a list of various study center pieces I have deemed essential. We are going to do some serious work at home again. And now that the kids are older they need to have a study zone. So we are making one.

I am breaking out the zayner-bolser handwriting books and have decided to go back to some phonetics stuff with Layla. I know she is going to hate it, but I think the problem she is having is an inability to sound things out. So, back to the basics. I am thinking Dr. Seuss and Shell Silverstein might be a good way to get some non-sense words into her reading and force her to sound things out. We'll see.

I am also going to start more Islamic education for them again. Truly, I have been a mess with that. I have no weekend school within reach, so it's all me and I have to get back to doing it on a regular basis. I do have one question though. How do you no-Arabi speakers like me handle the memorizing Quran? And what about resources for kids that aren't all just "memorize this, memorize that?" Hmmmm, if you have thoughts let me know. Actually the whole memorizing focus of Islamic education is a subject I would like to tackle, but it deserves its own post.

I have a digital camera again, and I will post pictures of their "study centers" when we get them finished, insha'Allah. If you mommies out there thoughts on good things to have in the home classroom just let me know;)

All I wanted was the simple things...

What is the simple life? There is a song that I love by no doubt that says "All I ever wanted was the simple things, a simple kind of life. And now those simple things are simply too complicated for my life." I feel like I am living that song.

I know there is a stage where everyone wants to be a rock-star or an astronaut... You very rarely hear a young woman saying she wants to be a wife and a mother, but once you are past that I think many of us come to a place where that is all we want.

I had visions of my life when I was getting married that involved an Odyssey and 6 kids in a nice home in Denver, CO. Maybe even someplace bigger and warmer like California. I never saw us as rich, but I did think we would be comfortable with a house and a nice life. My DH was getting a PHD in Engineering after all. I saw this whole mom's night out, friends over for dinner social life I would have. I figured I would have a sewing room and I would make things for my kids. I saw myself having beautiful home-births and a husband who supported my interest in home-birthing. I thought I would home-school and have my children play sports and be involved in the local Muslim community. I thought I might even be a public speaker of some sort for Muslim women. I saw myself filling a freezer with fabulous home cooked meals so we would have wonderful family dinners even when I was busy. I thought we would take family vacations and camping trips. I envisioned a garden and canning things from it. I'm going to be honest, so don't think I'm mean or heartless here because I wouldn't trade my family for anything... If I had known what my life would be like now, I would've hitched up my jilbab and run full speed in the opposite direction.

So I am starting to wonder if I am in mourning for the loss of something that was just never mine to begin with? Am I punishing the people around me for failing to become my dream family? Is my sense of detachment coming from the feeling that this is not my life?

And the real question.... Considering that my dream life will NEVER happen now, what are my goals?

There is a sense of getting shortchanged that is hanging over my head like a black cloud. Even as I write this I am getting choked up. I'm not saying that no one would be happy with my life. Actually I'm sure there is a woman out there somewhere living my ideal life that hates it and would take mine and excel. She would not only enjoy my situation, she would thrive in it. And isn't that ironic and strange???

I'm all for the bloom where you are planted thing. But it is proving to be harder for me than it sounds. On some level, and maybe I am spoiled to some extent, I have decided that these things I want are deeper than that. They are in fact things I need. And maybe there is some truth to that. Can meeting the conditions for survival end up in fulfillment?

Imagine that I put you in a place you hate, lets say you are a summer person and I throw you in Alaska. Then I give you food and shelter, but it is also the exact opposite of what you would choose for yourself. You are a vegetarian and I give you a meat based diet. You like a small warm house I give you a spacious drafty one. You like to sew, and I give you a garage with a wood-shop. Do you think you could live your life and not just survive but be happy in it? Because I guess that is the situation I feel like I am in.

**sigh**

Seriously, I can take my lemons and make lemonade... But what if I don't like lemonade?

My new BFF

If you don't see a picture on the post I'm probably blogging from my new BFF... A pink blackberry curve. Allah help you if you are on my IM list 'cause I am IMing from it as much as possible too. Oh, and of course texting at the speed of light. Very cool I must say. Thank you Verizon Wireless upgrade program!!!

Courtship vs Marriage

I was just thinking while I was at the store shopping for a special dish for DH about the various reactions to my cooking over the years... When I was a girlfriend (I wasn't always Muslim you know) I heard, "Anything that you blew your breath on is wonderful." Then as a new wife I heard, "You cook food better than a restaurant!!!" Now as a wife of over a decade I hear, "Why are we wasting money at restaurants when you can cook?"

You figure that out! **wink**

Reality Bites

Where were you when you realised that reality really does bite? I think I was in a horrible little apartment doing my bills with the check from my dream job (you know the one you get that magical degree for???). I saw that there was no way I was ever going to get ahead on the money I was making. Or, maybe it was when I was in labor with my first child and my husband was too tired to stay with me at the hospital and I had no one else to be there with me since I was in this weird little town. Anyway, I think I was in my mid-twenties when I saw all too clearly that my life was not going to be something from a magazine.

When I was up late a few nights ago I happened to catch the movie Reality Bites... I could see how it is kind of a mirror of our generations apathy and cynicism. I have to say it's on my list of movies that somehow strike a chord with me. Another one being Lost in Translation... And for some reason Fight Club (I guess I have some anger issues!LOL). So I am wondering dear readers... What are the movies that speak to you????

Tell me that's not cute!!!

The baby and the puppy