Ramadan in this town sucks. Ramadan in my house is nice, but draining since I feel this bizarre obligation to cook too much for iftar. I have thought about going to a nearby town to catch some lessons or taraweh every so often, but would want DH to come with me. I have talked to DH about it, he is too busy with his work and his health isn't good... He doesn't worry about it.
I have started to come to the conclusion that DH's problems are verging on a disability. No, really. I don't know when it happened, but his ability to work or help around the house is going down. More and more I have to do the things for his job with him. More and more he is behind on the paperwork because he is tired. How do you balance your responsibilities in a situation like this? He is the man of the house, and Alhamdulilah he has a job and masha'Allah he is still able to work. But, I know that more and more things are swinging towards me doing everything... But doing everything his way is sometimes a big strain... I mean, if it's my responsibility now just let me get it done my way. Sheesh. But, I think many marriages are this way in truth. DH will tell you that if you are helping someone then just shut it and try to do what they want, that way you are really helping them. I guess this is a good point, but hard to put into practice. Especially because I am a fly by the seat of your pants artsy type and DH is a triple backup for safety engineer type.
In other news... Fasting for me just commenced today (when it really started Sat here). The baby was having a big nurseathon going for the past few days, but with some serious fluid intake and hilba (fenugreek) the milk supply seems to have caught up, masha'Allah. Sooo, I am fasting today. I will fast every other day, insha'Allah. I think the cumulative effect is what has caused me problems while nursing and fasting in the past... That and my bad habit of not drinking enough water. We will see. I wouldn't be so gung ho about it if I hadn't missed almost every Ramadan since I got married due to pregnancy/nursing. I have some serious making up to do already, better to cut it down if I can, insha'Allah. I think I will be like a sister I knew while teaching after I am done having kids. She just fasted two days every week to make up for all the fasting she had missed. She never bothered to really figure out exact numbers, she was just shooting to do as much as she could. I like the idea.
So, for other nursing moms out there... If you are fasting, please do your best to drink as much as you normally would during the entire day in the evenings. I have been drinking from a nalgene bottle so I can watch myself and know I am drinking enough. Sadly, I am finding myself in the bathroom more than usual, which must mean that I am normally nowhere near drinking enough. As for the food part... No worries for nursing mom's there because you have to be seriously malnourished before it affects your milk. Check out The Imam's Daughter on my sidebar for more info about fasting and pregnancy/nursing.
Breathe, Dammit, Breathe!
2 weeks ago