Saturday, October 22, 2005

Birth Plans

So, with a $3,000 price tag on a home birth and a $0 price tag on a hospital birth my DH has challenged me with the question of why having a home birth is so important to me. Well, there are several reasons. And in some strange way they are all equally important to me.

1. I don’t want to have another c-section. Since I am 2 c-sections away from a vaginal delivery my chances of having a normal birth at a hospital are next to zero.

2. The support of a midwife, my trust in their skill would make my birth easier for me.

3. As a midwifery student I would feel like I am betraying my own beliefs having anything but a home birth.

4. I want to own my birth, I want to be in control and I want it to be the best possible experience. That will never happen in a hospital setting.

5. I want to have my family with me when I give birth, and I want to be able to just sit back and relax in the familiar environment of my own home.

6. Home birth is safer for my baby and me.

7. You forget many things about your life, but never the birth of your children so you should make it your ideal birth if you can.

Basically, DH understands that my only chance for a normal birth is at home. And in some small way he even understands that this is what I want… But he sees the dollar signs, and he sees that we just don’t have it at this moment.

So, our compromise has been that as long as he can be assured that I would be ok if I transferred to hospital (which basically I have already accomplished) and to get in writing from the WY insurance that they will cover the hospital costs if I transfer KNOWING that I started out as a home birth and all my pre-natal care was with a midwife. I haven’t done the second yet, but I think my chances are very good since I am talking about having a registered midwife from Ft. Collins. Besides, why would they deny a thing that they would have to pay anyway? If I booked the c-section today they would pay it… So, why wouldn’t they pay for hospital care if you went in an emergency transfer situation? That said, you never know. They might consider having midwife care negligent in some way and figure that the hospital expenses would be more after a failed home birth…

Anyway, please keep me in your dua… I need the insurance to go well and I am going to have to find a way to raise the money to pay for the midwife so I am not putting a strain on the family finances, insha’Allah. I already have a few ideas, but I think it will be slow going.


Surviving said...

Have you considered a certified Nurse Midwife? I think most insurances will pay for that. It might be something to consider if the insurance company won't work with you or finances don't work out to pay for things yourself.

cncz said...

incha Allah things will work out. You deserve to have the birth the way you want it.

homeschool said...

I was searching for home school books, and came to your site UmmLayla. After reading Birth Plans, I could really use this on my site, home school books, with your permission of course.

lala-po said...

Interesting wasn't so long ago that many egyptian women had home births. I was wondering, you mentioned that home birth is safer for you and baby. I thought it was about the same...have there been studies on this?
May Allah be with you and your li'l one.

homeschool said...

I was searching for homeschool, and came to your site UmmLayla. After reading Birth Plans, I could really use this on my site, homeschool, with your permission of course.

Um Ibrahim said...

What about a birth center? does the insurance cover that? I was thinking for the next baby to have it in a birth center, since the hospital birth of ibrahim did not go as i had expected and the midwife on call was not very helpful.

Um Nour said...

Assalam alykom:

My first child was a c section with a very impatient Dr. After that I promised myself no more dr.'s. My next child was a home birth. My third child was in arabia in the hospitol with a Muslim British midwife. My fourth was at home again with the midwife of my second daughter. My midwife takes most insurances. She does only homebirths. Eventough the Insurance copany does not out right say you can use a midwife I have heard that they have to offer the service. So you might seek their permission they may just allow it. My midwife charges 3 grand too. I had Medicaid and she took that also. I agree with you, a homebirth is the best experience by far. You are right if you had a previous c-section most dr.'s automatically do it again regardless. May Allah help you to achieve your homebirth. Let me know if I can help

Um Nour

home school cirriculums said...

UmmLayla it sounds like your school year is very much on track! After reading Birth Plans, I feel it would make a perfect article for my site homeschool, with your permission.

UmmLayla said...

Surviving: Yeah, there is the option of a CNM... But in the area I am in it is pretty much the same as going to an OB. They are bound by the hospital policies and such and wouldn't even be able to accept me as a client. There is a long shot CNM in Ft Collins if they take my insurance... But I am not really looking that way right now since it would mean birthing under hospital rules.

Lala-Po: There have been many studies about the safety of home birth. The largest one to my knowledge was done by a group of famous midwives on a place called The Farm (you can Google them).

The studies have shown better everything with midwife care... But you have to consider that midwives take only low risk patients. So, when you look at the safety of home birth you are comparing it to hospital births that meet the same low risk criteria. Midwives have fewer tears, fewer c-sections, fewer cases of fetal distress, fewer forceps deliveries, virtually no tears requiring surgical correction (since they don't do episiotomies)... Just lots of things that are concrete... And, it seems that mothers who birth with midwives just do better emotionally.

Of course the big reason for this is that midwives at home don't meddle with things. Lots of the complications people have in hospitals are simply because of the things they do to hurry things along or "make it easier". There are no drug complications at home, no labor flat on your back for hours... It is just different.

Anonymous said...

Hi there!

I just want to let you know that I really like your blog. I stumbled across it when looking for a certain pic of Johnny Depp, believe it or not!

I want to congratulate you on going against the "trend" and considering home birth. Although I have no children of my own at present, my husband and I hope to become parents fairly soon and have been really thinking hard and doing lots of reading about the various options, should I give birth here in the US as opposed to in my homeland. I also consider traditional midwives to be a fundamental element of the pre-natal, birth and post-natal processes and I am also in favour of women reclaiming the birth experience.

A wonderful book I am reading, which you may already know about and I think you may like is:

"Heart and Hands; A midwife's guide to pregnancy and birth" by Elizabeth Davis.

Inside is a wealth of invaluable info, beautiful drawings and photos and detailed guides on every aspect of pregnancy and birth. The photos and illustrations may seem a little out-dated at first glance but they have not lost their warmth or relevance. I highly recommend it! It was written by a midwife for trainee midwives but is also great for (and includes) expecting couples.

My mother had 6 children and the best birth for her was a home birth, that in spite of her preeclampsia (she was told after the first not to have any more but...)

From what I have read so far, the benefits of giving birth in a familiar home environment cannot be underestimated. It is a fact that when a woman is distressed, her birthing muscles contract as a direct result and therefore it can take longer for her to progress and before you know where you are, the doctors have jumped in to try and "move things along" and so begins the cycle. I am not saying that home birth is ideal for everyone but I'd consider it, depsite my heart-mumur, asthma, and my mother's history of high blood pressure and my own premature birth. The mother's own state of mind during the birth also has an effect on that of the baby and how the baby does during birth.

I will try and remember to pray for you and your family and wish you all the best in your next birth and beyond!