DH had his usual August freak out about hsing... And since DD is obsessing about going to school we decided to enroll them this year. I hate it, but they have two parents and DH thinks they "need the experience of school and nothing bad happens in 1st grade or kindergarten, so now is the time". I have another thought... And that is that they are at an impressionable age and I want to spare them the knowledge that people in this town hate us just because we are Muslim.
Which is another topic entirely, DH blames my hijab for people even knowing we are Muslim... I blame him for insisting on staying here, we go nowhere fast when we get into that conversation. I refuse to be in a place where I have to compromise my practice of the deem to fit in, and I refuse to "blend" anymore than I already do. And I refuse for my kids to blend in certain ways, which wouldn't be an issue in bigger cites where schools are faced to confront the diversity of the student population and take certain celebrations to a more global place... What I mean is if I weren't in hicksville there would be no "hat's off to Christmas" in the curriculum because the district wouldn't allow it.
Anywhooo, you see where all this is going. We are at odds about things with the kids, and I have always promised myself that I would not exclude him in the decisions about these things... So they are going to school this year and I am doing The Well Trained Mind as an afterschool thing. Actually, I find them hard to work with in the afternoon (and I think that will only get worse after they go to school because they will be tired) so I will probably get them up very early and do an hour or two with them then.
The truth is that I would love to sit here and tell all about the problems we are having... Because it goes deeper than the kids school, I guess I just feel all bottled up about it. But I promised myself when I got married that I wouldn't talk about our private life, so I am keeping it to myself in real life an this blog. Insha'Allah this is the right thing to do... But please keep me in your dua.
I wonder these days if Arab men and American women aren't a good match. They seem to think we are superwomen, we seem to think they should do things that they never will culturally. Honorary Arab (she's on my sidebar) just did a post about it, so go read her post... I'll save you rehashing the same thoughts.
I pray for peace in my life, I pray for patience, I pray for wisdom and strength. I pray I stay married another day.
Oh, and whoever knows where the title for this post came from gets bonus points;)
Breathe, Dammit, Breathe!
2 weeks ago