Friday, August 18, 2006

What goin' on...

Well, after my last dramatic post I thought an update would be fair. Things aren't better, but alhamdulilah I think my outlook is. Thanks for all the support, I really needed to hear from other people to feel like I wasn't marginally insane.

As to the thoughts... Well, I have gone over these things with my DH, and the easy stuff doesn't work for us. He works nights and is a light sleeper, and it is worse when he is tired. But, he refuses to wear earplugs or take sleeping pills. I agree with Amygdala that pills can be a problem for some people anyway, so maybe that's better. I guess it's what some of you said... I have to consider whether or not he is really trying to get his sleep... And the answer is no. I think that is due to a whole mess of factors, the biggest one of which is that he has apnea which he refuses to treat with a bi-pap (and he has been told that sooooo many times and they have him on one every time he is in the hospital). Sleep deprived spouses are no fun. Stressed spouses are no fun, and he is both. We just have to get through this time somehow.

The good thing is that we have been forced to really talk expectations, which I think is healthy. I know that I am the one bending the most, and he knows it too... So I feel better that at least he sees some of the things I have been dealing with, alhamdulilah. We are going forward with the project of a business we have been talking about for a long time now, and I hope it will free him to quit this job... The more we talk the more I see he hates his job as much as I do, but he is scared of change and the possibility of losing any income. Well, there is more to life than money brother. And I know he thinks I am just talking when I say that, but I really think that.

Anywhoo, thanks fellow bloggers for your input. Insha'Allah these things will be behind me soon. And I really believe I am feeling the Dua love, things have been much calmer around here. I was out of the house at 9:30 today, and I didn't even feel the need to start cursing!LOL;) Not perfect, but better, alhamdulilah.

7 comments:

Umm Isa said...

Bismillaah, assalamo aleikom, Alhamdulillah rabbil alamiin! See the power of duaa, mashaAllah tabarakAllah. I am so happy for you, sister!
Love, Umm Isa

Honorary Arab said...

Asalamalaykom and Elhumdullah! Thanks for updating. If you take us on the ride, you have to let us know of the ups and downs. I'm glad that things are looking up :)

Lindsey said...

Im glad to see that things are kinda getting better for you guys and that your talking to each other. It might just take some time ya know. I pray you do the business (or whatever makes you happy as you desire) and that you reconnect again with the love that brought you together in the first place inshallah (hugs) Lindsey

amygdala said...

sleep apnoea?!? bipap machines work wonders. i don't want to scare you, but i've seen extreme cases come to casualty cos they get so low on oxygen in the night. usually the patients are unaware of the problme and it's the SPOUSES who find their dearly beloved choking and gasping for breath. if he's sleeping alone and you're not even in the house...

just try and convince him about the machine. they're not too uncomfortable apparently: you're so grateful for feeling refreshed on waking that patients don't care.

Romerican said...

Sounds like good news for y'all.

UmmBadier said...

Asalamu Walaikum,
Maybe you would like this blog...she has tons of info...and she's entertaining, masha allah.

http://islamic-homeschool.blogspot.com/

peacefulmuslimah said...

Dear Sis,

OPlease get him to take the apnea seriously. My uncle suffered from apnea from his 30s onward. When he was around 60 they diagnosed him with Alzheimer's syndrome and he spent the next 18 years regressing pitifully until he finally passed. My aunt donated his brain to Harvard for an Alzheimer's study and was shocked to discover he NEVER had it. Instead, they discovered that the longterm damage of oxygen deprivation from the apnea had mimicked the symptoms and the sad decline in his mental abilities was completely avoidable.

Please have him see a doctor and use the PAP machine.

Salaam Alaikum,
PM